What am I doing?

I’m not quite sure what I’m doing right now. I feel like I’m slipping back into depression. Just when I thought I might be through it and it feels like it’s coming back.
I don’t want the bad feelings to all come back, crying most nights and withdrawing myself from everything that I feel I don’t deserve. It puts a lot of pressure on me and my boyfriend and I’m fed up of feeling like this.
I have refused any medication so far but I don’t know if I should anymore. I was going for my last counselling session this thursday after getting less frequent because I felt I could cope on my own but now I’m not so sure. I’m fed up of relying on numerous counsellors who nod and agree. Maybe it’s time to try something new.
Maybe I don’t need to worry and it’s just a bad few days. Something’s telling me it’s not though :/

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